How Trump saved the world.

 

Mick lives in Wellington, Fl. which is fewer than 30 minutes away from Mar-a-Lago.

He met his inside source at The Honor Bar on Palm Beach and he shared with Mick some interesting inside information about the attack on Iran.

The attack, Code named Stink Missile, was a secret known to only a couple of thousand people.

POTUS Donald J. Trump, Code named Colonel Kurtz, was the brains behind the attack; "I have a Yuge brain and bigly plans."

The attack began when Trump told the chosen few "I will tell everyone I led the attack flying a B52 and I expect all of you to back me up on that."

"I will tell the media I was the one who blowed-up the Nuclear site and that I also blowed-up an Iranian Covid variant and saved the M.E, from a nasty virus that was prolly created in China."

Five minutes into the attack, Pete Hegseth, burst into the room: "I know I wasn't supposed to be here but check this out Kurtz": as he ripped off two dozen push ups before he was forcibly removed from the Situation Room that had a Yuge screen that displayed the bombers, cruise missiles and what not headed for Iran; 

"Wait'll them goat eaters get a load of stink missile; Imma turn every one of their damn Persian Rugs into ones that'll smell like the rug owned by Jeffrey Lebowski the bastids peed on."

In one corner of the room stood Baron Trump, whom  CIA analysts claim, grew 1/16th of an inch per day during the crisis: "He sorta creeped everyone out. He just stood there on his tip toes glaring at the screen, loudly humming "The Battle of the Green Berets" and ocasionally saying,' Oof, Oorah and Dung.'"

Baron is now 7' 9" tall.

Analysts say that Baron is the smartest family member to be in the situation room since Jimmy Carter had his brother Billy in there, sloshing down  dozens of beers dung the hostage crisis.

About 45 minutes into Operation Stink Missile, Melania burst into the room; "Kurtz, check this out,: and she spoke the poem "Would you look at size of  that damn Narwhal" in the original Inupiatun." 

Colonel Kurtz smile sweetly: "That's nice, Dear. But we're sort of busy in here; go get me a Big Mac and a Diet Coke will ya?"

As the attack grew ever closer to actualisation a friend of Kurtz said to him, "Excuse me, Colonel, Tulsi is trying to get in here, what should I tell her?"

"Tell her I think she is easy on the eyes but she disagrees with me about Iran being close to getting a nuke and disagreeing with me ain't kosher. Tell her if she wants to help to go get me a Big Mac and a Diet Coke."

General David Allvin, Air Force head honcho, said to Trump; "Colonel Kurtz, I was just handed this video from Pete Hegseth; he said it is important, shall I cue it?"

"Yep." 

The vid was put on but all it showed was Hegseth doing squat thrusts while counting them off.

"OK, It's go time," said Kurtz, just as Melania snuck back into the room wearing a Leopard Skin Kimono; "Kurtz, check this out," and she performed "An old silent pond" in the original Nihongo language.

"That's nice dear. We are sorta busy here, can you go get me a Double Cheeseburger and a Diet Coke?"

And the rest, as they say is history- the history of how Trump saved the world.