Dignity Blessing Begat FS

 Homosexual

Marriage Rituals

In many homosexual circles religious ceremonies where two homosexuals

express and make a commitment to each other on a more or less permanent

and exclusive basis are purposely called by names other than “marriage.

”

However, the parallel between these ceremonies and normal weddings

between men and women is undeniable. The following rituals and rules

for the preparation of homosexual couples prior to these ceremonies illustrate

the extent to which the practice of homosexuality is becoming

institutionalized in America.

Committee Statement

In light of the Dignity, Inc. Statement of Position and Purpose, we believe

that God, through the action of the Christian community, sustains the

free and deliberate choice of two people to live together in love. The

couple’s commitment to each other expresses and calls the couple to

reflect Christ’s love to one another and to the greater community, thus

expressing the ongoing covenant between God and God’s people. We

believe the Christian community has the pastoral responsibility to affirm

and support lesbian and gay couples who have undertaken to live the

Christian life together in love, truth, and fidelity. Therefore we believe

Dignity/New York, as a community, has the pastoral responsibility to

publicly witness and support the commitment of lesbian and gay couples.

PROCEDURES AND OPTIONS

Members of Dignity/New York who wish to celebrate their commitment

publicly within our community should have known each other for at least

one year and/or lived together for six months. The couple shall select a

sponsor(s) who is a member of Dignity/New York. This sponsor shall know

the couple, know the resources available to the couple, and will act as a

liaison between the couple and the Liturgy committee regarding the

ceremony.

While it is the couple who makes the commitment to each other, and

it is God who actually blesses the commitment of the two people, it is

the Dignity/New York community who calls the blessing of God on the

couple and their commitment and witnesses that commitment. The ceremony

will take place where the community usually meets for its religious

celebrations.

For practical purposes, the couple shall take from the community witnesses

who will act on behalf of the community as a whole. One of these

witnesses will be a member of Dignity/New York and the couple may

choose other witnesses.

The material which follows suggests the likely elements in a service of

commitment with choices within each:

Introduction: A witness should introduce the couple to the community, calling

to mind the significance of the commitment to be made.

Questions of Intent: To be asked by the sponsor.

Readings: At least two from the Bible.

Forms of Exchange of Promises: To be made by the couple.

Prayers of Offering: To be made by the couple.

Prayers of Blessing: To be made by the witness(es).

Thanksgiving.

One of the clergy consultants will be present when the couple, with

the representative of the Liturgy Committee, coordinate the planning of

the ceremony.

Dignity’s Participation in Blessing Gay Couples

Dignity's Position: The Roman Catholic Church’s Canon Law states that:

“Marriage is a contract by which two competent persons of opposite sex

give to each other the exclusive and irrevocable right over their bodies

for the procreation and education of children (Canon 1012 and following).

”

Preserving this Church definition of marriage, Dignity will only partici-pate in blessing gay “unions” and will strive to maintain a clear distinction

between the two, especially avoiding any simulation of the Rite and ceremonies

associated with heterosexual marriage. Nevertheless, Dignity

recognizes many social and psychological similarities and parallels between

heterosexual marriage and gay “unions” and that, above all, they

both need the blessing of God and the celebration and support of a

Christian community, family, and friends.

While gay “unions” are free of the terms dictated by the Church and

State for marriages, they are contracts and/or covenants and, thus, each

couple must determine, beforehand, the mutual terms of their commitment.

Dignity will follow these guidelines in blessing gay couples:

1. Both of those making the commitment must be over 18 years of age.

2. One member of the couple must be a member of Dignity or a Catholic.

3. The couple must have the intention of making a serious commitment to

join their lives together for a long period of time.

4. They should be invited to attend some Dignity functions (Mass, raps,

meetings, etc.), so that they can witness the Christian community in action,

and understand the need of support from the community.

5. They must meet with a priest and two members of the Dignity community

three times in at least two-week intervals to discuss the following topics:

First Meeting: To determine the contract or covenant by which they

wish to live. Such subjects as: work, money, property, living together,

obligations (parents, children, etc.), debts, wills (lawyers), a physical exam

(doctors), fidelity, and any special problems they may have (drugs, alcoholism),

etc. This counseling session with a priest and the two members

of Dignity is offered with the hope that the couple entering this relationship

will realize the deep obligations and problems they will be assuming.

Many questions will be raised in their minds. It is up to the

couple to go home from these sessions and decide on their contract or

covenant, their life style, and how they will meet their problems and

obligations.

Second Meeting: The priest, the two Dignity members, and the couple

will discuss religion and their Faith. It should be stressed that this

ceremony is a religious one, and has no civil ramifications. The couple

will have the opportunity to revitalize their Faith, and see the part their

Faith could play in their daily lives. Any questions or doubts they have

about their Faith will be discussed. If the couple to be blessed wish to

meet privately with the priest, this will be arranged.

Third Meeting: Plan the ceremony [sic] with the priest and the Dignity

members. It is absolutely necessary for the couples being blessed, and the community of Dignity, to realize the difference between contracts

of heterosexual marriage and that of a gay “union.

” The customs and/or

elaborate ceremony that have grown up surrounding marriage must not

be imitated. The spirituality of the Blessing, the sharing of their love with

their friends and the community, should be stressed. 

It would be more

Christian and more meaningful if simple declarations of love, the blessing

of God and the community of their friends, with some social reception,

take place celebrating the occasion.

A Ceremony of Blessing Couples

This ceremony is only a suggestion, a guideline. The ceremony and all

of its details should be worked out by the couple, the priest, and the

Dignity couple. Locations: a) Before the General Meeting, b) at Home,

or c) at some other appropriate place.

1. During Mass after the Gospel: Sermon

Announcement or Greeting

The Blessing

Congratulations or Kiss of Peace

2. Outside Mass: Greeting or Announcement

Scripture or other Readings

Sermon

The Blessing

Congratulations or Kiss of Peace

an announcement: In the Spirit of Christian love, N. & N. wish to

announce their intention to join their lives together, and ask the Christian

community of Dignity and their friends for their prayers and support.

A greeting: We are gathered here to bless the love between N. &

N. They have chosen to share their lives and have asked you their friends

to bless and support them in their love for each other. They realize how

difficult it is for a couple to truly love, care, and be faithful to each other.

They call upon this Christian community, you, to give them the prayers,

love, support, and friendship they need, to continue growing in their

love. N. & N. have joined their lives hoping that through their love and

mutual support they can achieve salvation of body and soul and lead

happier, fuller lives. Let us give them our prayers, and good wishes, and

the encouragement they need to grow, strengthen, and be happy in their

love for each other.

SERMON: On love and the necessity of Love in our lives, Etc.

PRIEST AND COMMUNITY BLESSES THE COUPLE: May take the form

Homosexual Marriage Rituals

of the Prayer of Faithful, [sic] or any form the Couple and Priest agrees

on.

KISS OF peace: An opportunity for the Priest and guests to congratulate

the Couple.

A Sample Exchange of Commitment for Celebrations of

Commitment

Father Paul, Father Mel, Jim, Neal, and friends, we thank you for joining

us today to witness our expressing the love we have for each other. We

are sure you realize this is not the first time we have expressed our love

for each other, nor is it the first time we have prayed for God’s blessings.

What makes this day different is that this time we are doing it in the

presence of our friends. It is not by chance that we discovered our love

for each other. We believe it is the fulfillment of God’s plan for the two

of us.

It is our prayer that as we grow and change, our love may continue to

flourish. Together with God’s love we will take care of each other, support

and help each other in times of stress and pain, rejoice during periods of

peace and thanksgiving. It is our intention to continue our obligations to

our families, friends, the gay community, and to those in need.

Sid, the degree of love I give is determined by my own capability. My

capability is determined by the envirement [sic] of my past existence and

my undersranding [sic] of love, truth, and God. I will give you as much

love as I can. If you show me how to give more, then I will give more.

I can only give as much as you need to receive or allow me to give. If

you receive all I can give then my love is endless and fulfilled.

Marty, I love you from the depths of my being. I promise to do my

best and to strive continually for your happiness and physical and spiritual

well being. For me to love, is to commit myself freely and without reservation.

Whatever your needs are, I will try to fulfill them and will

bend in my values depending on the importance of your need. If you are

lonely and need me, I will be there. If in that loneliness you need to

talk, I will listen. If you need to listen, I will talk. If you need the strenght

[sic] of human touch, I will touch you. If you need to be held, I will hold

you. I will lie naked in body with you if that be your need. If you need

fulfillment of the flesh, I will give you that also, but only through my

love.

An Exchange of Vows

At the entry of the priest all STAND and he will welcome the couple and

the congregation. A hymn may be sun

The priest then says:

In the presence of God we have come together to witness the celebration

and blessing of the union which exists between N & M, which they now wish

to offer to God for blessing and renewal.

In this service we remind ourselves of our human vocation which is to love

God and to love our neighbour. God has created us to love. We are to respond

in many ways, always remembering that in our relationships with others the

marks of true love should be self-sacrifice, committment [sic], respect, mutuality

in giving and receiving, and the avoidance of all coercion, exploitation,

and superficiality.

From the earliest times people have made solemn vows in the sight of God

and before witnesses. The story of David and Jonathan reminds us of one such

vow, solemnly made before God, calling on him to bless the love they swore

to each other for ever.

We have come here in order that N & M can bear witness to their love,

and so we share in their happiness and witness their exchange of vows because

we believe that God who is love and truth sees into our hearts, recognises [sic]

our humanity, and accepts the offering they are making.

The priest then says to the couple:

You are about to make a solemn vow. Do you believe God has called

you to live together in love?

Couple: WE DO.

Priest: Do you ask for his blessing?

Couple: WE DO.

Priest: Will you swear to remain faithful to each other, never allowing any

other relationship to come before the one you are now to affirm?

Couple: WE WILL.

Priest: Will you give yourselves to each other wholeheartedly and without

restraint?

Couple: WE WILL.

Priest: Will you do all in your power to make your life together a witness

to the love of God in the world?

Couple: WE WILL.

The priest then asks each partner seperately: [sic]

Will you N, give yourself wholly to M, sharing your love and your life, your

wholeness and your broken-ness, your success and your failure?

Answer: I WILL.

All SIT for the Lesson(s).

The priest (or some other) will give the Address.

Each partner then makes her/his vow to the other taking her/his right hand

and saying:

I, N vow to you, M, in the sight of God and before these our chosen witnesses,

that I shall love, honour and cherish you all the days of my life until death

divides us.

The priest blesses the rings:

Bless, O Lord, these rings, that those who give and receive them may live in

your peace and continue in your love all the days of their life, through Jesus

Christ our Lord.

All say: AMEN.

The giver places the ring on the other s finger, saying:

This ring is a sign of all that I am and all that I have; receive and treasure it

as a sign and a pledge of the love I have for you.

The couple alone KNEEL, and the priest says:

Will you now offer your life together to God?

Couple: God our Father,

we offer to you our lives and our love for each other.

Forgive what we have been,

consecrate what we are,

order what we shall be. Amen.

The priest then blesses them, saying:

Almighty God who has given you the will to do all these things, grant you

strength to perform them, perseverance to keep them, patience and courage

to complete them; and the blessing of God Almighty, Father, Son and Holy

Spirit be upon you to guide and protect you both, today and always.

All say: AMEN.

ALL STAND. The couple join hands and the priest says to the congregation:

Will you who are witnesses to this exhange [sic] of vows do all in your power

to support and strengthen N & M in the days ahead?

All say: WE WILL.

Priest: God has called us to live in peace, joy, love, and holiness. The

peace of the Lord be always with you.

People: AND ALSO WITH YOU.

The people greet the couple and each other. They then sign a commemorative

card which is given to the couple. A hymn may be sung.

All KNEEL or SIT and the priest leads the people in prayers for the

couple.

*

There is then a period of silence, after which all say:

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be you [sic] Name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done

on earth as in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

Forgive us our sins

as we forgive those who sin against us.

Do not bring us to the time of trial

but deliver us from evil.

For the kingdom, the power and the glory

are yours

now and forever. Amen.

The priest then gives the blessing.

♦If there is to be a Communion Service it follows here, beginning at the

Offertory. The Lord’s Prayer is then said in its usual place in the service.

This is just one of a number of services currently in use. It is included

to give members some basis for discussion at the September gathering

and is not intended to be definitive.