New England Patriots vs New York Jets
If the Pats lose to the Dog Ass Jets and go to 0-3 complete panic will erupt in Beantown to the point where the chaos and confusion will be so puissant that men will start climbing trees in the Back Bay Fens and begin screeching like mating monkeys, Arthur Fiedler will rise from the grave and start break dancing and Boston Mayor Michelle Wu will finish an address to The City Council by firing off several rounds of bean bullets into the microphone while screeching " Eat it "Lobet Claff" *
* The owner of the New England Patriots is Robert Kraft
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