Friday Fun

 

Hi, I'm Mike Lindell and if you are anything like me you are sick and tired of hard toilet seats.

Every year I take the family on long road trips to see the sights, sounds, and people of this beautiful country and whenever we travel we have to make, um, comfort stops at places like McDonald's and Esso Gas stations and I don't have to tell you just how hard those toilet seats are in those comfort stops and  just how much they hurt my bottom and the bottoms of my family.

Well, today I am happy to announce that hard toilet seats are a thing of the past because I have invented My Toilet Seat which will be available in a rainbow of colors and this exciting new product will make your comfort stops a pleasurable event rather than the painful event it has heretofore always been.

The My Toilet Seat is soft and comes in a rainbow of colors and has been subjected to exhaustive studies perfumed by our adventurous volunteer testers Rebel Wilson and Star Jones.

My Toilet Seat is lightweight leather made from the finest Virgin Veal available and stuffed with the feathers of a flock of flightless geese we discovered living near Lake Louise in Canada.

I promise you this will be the softest toilet seat you have ever sat on and it is not only portable it is so comfortable that you can relieve  yourself in leisure for up to one-half hour and while you may need My Ear Plugs to prevent the frantic knocking and the screeching imprecations of others waiting in line outside the bathroom door to relieve themselves from disturbing your tranquility, I promise you your legs will never fall asleep - although you might (viewers hear light snoring sounds).

So go to My Toilet Seat.com and order yours today and in the unlikely event this is not the softest most comfortable toilet seats you have ever sat on, just call us and we will return your $89.99 with no questions asked.

My Toilet Seats are made at my clean odorless factory in America and they are as soft as the minds of most Americans.