Friday Fun

 

Dear Mick..

I am a 47 year old Catholic woman who is completely flummoxed after going with my husband to a celebration-of-life service for his dead brother, Donnie, at our Martin Sheen community worship space in Fussels Corner, Florida.

First of all, the presider wore white, not black, and  second of all, he said that Ronnie's brother, Donnie, was in Heaven but we have no way of knowing that, do we?

But, the worst thing that happened was that during the eulogy (Are we even allowed to have eulogies during a service?) for Donnie, I look over and I see Ronnie getting all cutest and smiley and flirty-wirty with this cute number and, I mean, this was right during the part where the presider is saying, "Donnie is up in Heaven looking down on us right this minute."

Yeah, well, if that was true, then Donnie was watching Ronnie flirting with some blonde during his celebration-of-life service.

Am  I wrong to be mad at Ronnie who keeps telling me I am making a huge hairy mole out of a barely perceptible birthmark?

I tell ya, I was so upset I almost didn't go and grab a wafer and scarf some wine because my palms were so sweaty, I'd like to drop both of them but I'll be damned if I was going to be the only one there not to have the lord's supper - even including Donnie's wife, Zissel, who left a huge red lipstick mark on the cup.

O, and didn't I feel like a fool by telling Zissel that as a Jew she couldn't eat the wafer and drink the wine just about two seconds before the presider said, "The Lord loves everyone and he refuses no one so, please, everybody, come and share the Lord's Supper with us."

Signed

Flummoxed in Fussels Corner, Florida.

Dear Flummoxed in Fussels Corner, Florida.  As you well know, beginning with Vatican Two, much has changed within the Church and what you describe is just another example of that but can we really say that the way things used to be was far superior?

Si, se puede (Yes we can).

However, that does not necessarily mean that Ronnie was wrong (although he was) because modern man often has to look outside his community worship space in the local Franchise of Dead Diocese, Inc. America to latch onto some serious semiotics because it seems that nobody knows what the hell to do in Church a community worship space anymore.