Just sing the first 31 words of this song to defuse any parlous situation

You're my buddy, my pal, my friend
It will be that way until the end

 and wherever you go,
I want you to know
You're my buddy, my pal, my friend

Lets 's say your wife discovers you are an adulterer;

Damn you, you bastard!! How could you, and with my best friend...

Don't admit it and don't try to offer an excuse. Just look at her sweetly, smile, pick up a guitar, and start strumming while singing softly

You're my buddy, my pal, my friend
It will be that way until the end 
and wherever you go,
I want you to know
You're my buddy, my pal, my friend

and before you know it, the questions about adultery will disappear behind a long Aaaaah, honey, that is so sweet. It reminds me of our first dog, Pookie. I miss her SO much and I love you.

Let's say you had a dozen or so pints of Guinness at an Irish Pub while watching the Democratic National Convention (you HAVE to be drunk to listen to their shite) and a cop stops you on your way home just because you side-swiped a Hearse parked out behind a Funeral home (look, you had to stop and pee because there is no way you could make it home without stopping to take a leak).

When the Cop asks for your driver's License and Registration, just reach into the back seat, grab your guitar, smile, say, This one's for you, officer, because you help keep our town safe: and start softly singing:

You're my buddy, my pal, my friend
It will be that way until the end 
and wherever you go,
I want you to know
You're my buddy, my pal, my friend

And I guarantee you, the Cop will let you off with a warning as he stifles his weeping and tries to blink away his tears: Damn, man. that song reminds me of a dog we had when I was a kid, a dog named, Rudy Tootie Double Duty. My old man came home one night really hammered and run over her and kilt her dead - ded - dead.

You go on now- straight home and drive carefully..