Sgt. at arms; Mrs Speaker, The POTUS, Joseph Biden
Thank you, thank you, now settle down.
Madam Speaker Nanny Palsy and Majority leader
Chuck Shrooms, Ladies and Gentlemen, members of The LGTV community thingies, and Mr. and Mrs. America.
I am happy to report that America has never been in better shape; no really, I mean that.
Tonight’s speech will be short and to the point. I want to highlight just a few people and how their actions are representative of all that is good about this great country.
I want to begin by speaking a bit about my son Hunter who had a lot of success in international business but that didn’t prove to really satisfy him and so he turned to art to highlight the beauty of nature.
He told me he was inspired by the example of Lady Bird Johnson who was the wife of Lyndon Baines Johnson who probably had JFK assassinated although we can’t be sure because the intelligence confusedly keeps it cover-up cards closed to the rest.
In any event Lady Bird - stand up if you are with us tonight (he shades his eyes and peers into the crowd) - No? Ok.
Get vaccinated. Now.
Tonight’s speech will be short and to the point. I want to highlight just a few people and how their actions are representative of all that is good about this great country.
I want to begin by speaking a bit about my son Hunter who had a lot of success in international business but that didn’t prove to really satisfy him and so he turned to art to highlight the beauty of nature.
He told me he was inspired by the example of Lady Bird Johnson who was the wife of Lyndon Baines Johnson who probably had JFK assassinated although we can’t be sure because the intelligence confusedly keeps it cover-up cards closed to the rest.
In any event Lady Bird - stand up if you are with us tonight (he shades his eyes and peers into the crowd) - No? Ok.
As l was saying Lady Bird was not much bigger or better looking than a fire hydrant but she had giant dreams and she was always hatching ideas which is how she came by her nickname Lady Bird.
She became famous for one of her dreams -
planting flowers along the interstate highway system so folks could have something to look at other than wrecked cars, smoldering bodies and dead animals.
Her example still stands today as what makes America great.
And here with us tonight is another example of what makes America great. Miss Lenora Fitts of Queeche Gorge Vermont.
Stand up Miss Fitts. There you are. Welcome.
Miss Fitts had a great idea. She collected all of the corn cobs from the Fourth of July State Fair Corn Eating Contest in Rutland and brought them to her neighbor and friend Richard Weed who works as a carpenter.
Weed, C'mon man. You out there? Stand up Dick. Welcome.
Mr. Weed took the corn cobs given to him by Miss Fitts and glued them together and made 9 rafts which Ben and Jerry paid to be transported to Texas so our friends from the south could use the rafts to cross The Rio Grande and come and live with us forever.
I often tell my wife Jill that, collectively, America is a nation of over 300 million Miss Fitts and Dick Weeds
Good night America and all the ships at sea.
She became famous for one of her dreams -
planting flowers along the interstate highway system so folks could have something to look at other than wrecked cars, smoldering bodies and dead animals.
Her example still stands today as what makes America great.
And here with us tonight is another example of what makes America great. Miss Lenora Fitts of Queeche Gorge Vermont.
Stand up Miss Fitts. There you are. Welcome.
Miss Fitts had a great idea. She collected all of the corn cobs from the Fourth of July State Fair Corn Eating Contest in Rutland and brought them to her neighbor and friend Richard Weed who works as a carpenter.
Weed, C'mon man. You out there? Stand up Dick. Welcome.
Mr. Weed took the corn cobs given to him by Miss Fitts and glued them together and made 9 rafts which Ben and Jerry paid to be transported to Texas so our friends from the south could use the rafts to cross The Rio Grande and come and live with us forever.
I often tell my wife Jill that, collectively, America is a nation of over 300 million Miss Fitts and Dick Weeds
Good night America and all the ships at sea.
Get vaccinated. Now.
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